No Bacon? No Problem!

Recently (while feasting on pork belly espetadas) I came across an article from Forbes titled “The Looming Disaster Of A US Bacon Shortage“. Bacon Shortage? Nooooooooooooooooo. This is a catastrophe, cataclysm, fiasco, tragedy, disaster, debacle, disaster, and calamity beyond imagination.

(stop judging me for reading online news while eating dinner – if you don’t use your phone while eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, in bed, in the bathroom, in the pool….get with the program – it’s 2017)

Fortunately, it turns out this isn’t as bad as it sounds. While reports of a looming bacon shortage are not quite “liar, liar pants on fire” – they are somewhat “falseish” –considering that they failed to take into account the relatively short reproductive and development cycle of swine and the fact that I live in South Africa where bacon is a basic human right and a US bacon shortage will have no bearing on my ability to eat all manner of pork products.

But there is a problem. Even though there is no imminent pork shortage, eventually I will have to return to the US and give up my access to fabulous, affordable food. And I am dreading it. You see, here in SA, the food is amazing. Farming and food production here is, for lack of a better word, more “natural”. Farm to table timelines are shorter, food is less processed, has less added sugar, less added salt. The fruits and veggies are in season, tree/field-ripened and fresh. Juices are fresh-squeezed and pulpy….chunky even. Beef and pork are plentiful (along with lamb, ostrich and several other beasts). Bacon alone comes in a confusing array of options, back bacon, shoulder bacon, streaky bacon, pancetta, and more. Beef fillets are a tender, juicy, and tasty staple on the menu at most restaurants – fancy restaurants, burger restaurants, sports bars, diners… I may have even seen it on the menu at an Indian restaurant.  And then there are the fries (also a staple item on most menus) made the old-fashioned way – you know… you remember… with LARD. Brilliant!

And oh, by the way, I have lost weight since moving here. Go figure.

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